I’ve never really like crowds. But now, unlike in my pre-bloody brain life, I can’t tolerate them. I can’t process high volumes of information in a timely fashion. All data comes in with equal value, whether it is a loud shriek or a soft murmur. All colors seem garish, blinding, and all tactile input is harsh to the touch. Everything is a blur, without shape, chaotic. I can’t make order out of the chaos. I have nothing to anchor me and my incoherent thoughts. My brain lacks the ability to file information away under recognizable labels.
“That’ll be one thousand blah blah dollars. Do you want to complete your order?” My brain shut down briefly after the “one thousand,” rebooting in time to hear the “dollars.” No, I didn’t want to complete my order. I was trying to refill my prescription for anti-seizure meds. The problem was that I wanted the … Read more