10 Things I Don’t Like (in no particular order)

August 8, 2022July 24, 2021

I’ve never really like crowds. But now, unlike in my pre-bloody brain life, I can’t tolerate them. I can’t process high volumes of information in a timely fashion. All data comes in with equal value, whether it is a loud shriek or a soft murmur. All colors seem garish, blinding, and all tactile input is harsh to the touch. Everything is a blur, without shape, chaotic. I can’t make order out of the chaos. I have nothing to anchor me and my incoherent thoughts. My brain lacks the ability to file information away under recognizable labels.

10 Things I Especially Like (In No Particular Order)

July 24, 2021June 21, 2021

Gus’s a funny little thing, a mutt, smarter that I could have imagined. He teases me, changing the rules of games as we play, laughing at me from the top of the steep hill in my back yard, squeaking his toy as he tries to tempt me to clamber up the slippery slope to wrestle the toy away from him.

Orientation

August 1, 2019November 10, 2016

Without warning, the universe exploded. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. My entire world had become pain. The pain had no orientation—it had no location, no direction, no measure. It defied words. I was pain. Another explosion, and the pain intensified. But now, there was orientation, location: it was in my head, and it was … Read more

Expectations

August 1, 2019January 26, 2016

On Fridays after work, I feel like a zombie with a headache. I walk in the door, sit at the dining room table, and stare into space for a good thirty minutes, often more. I then struggle to make my way upstairs. After a relatively easy week, when the headache isn’t terrible, once in my … Read more

Morning Ritual

August 1, 2019December 27, 2015

I evaluated my headache—a couple of pieces of candied ginger and some protein? Or more? The shower will probably help, and a decent chug of water. I close my eyes, listening to my body. Nope. I’m going to need more than that. Some Aleve. At least two. Hopefully that’ll keep it in check, to the … Read more

Woohoo!

August 1, 2019October 9, 2015

I posted on Facebook: “No headache today! Whoohoo!” It’s the second day since the semester began, a month and a half ago, that I was headache free. Yes, the day isn’t over yet, but from past experience I know that there’s a decent chance that I will be fine the rest of the day. As … Read more