I’ve never really like crowds. But now, unlike in my pre-bloody brain life, I can’t tolerate them. I can’t process high volumes of information in a timely fashion. All data comes in with equal value, whether it is a loud shriek or a soft murmur. All colors seem garish, blinding, and all tactile input is harsh to the touch. Everything is a blur, without shape, chaotic. I can’t make order out of the chaos. I have nothing to anchor me and my incoherent thoughts. My brain lacks the ability to file information away under recognizable labels.
Without warning, the universe exploded. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. My entire world had become pain. The pain had no orientation—it had no location, no direction, no measure. It defied words. I was pain. Another explosion, and the pain intensified. But now, there was orientation, location: it was in my head, and it was … Read more
On Fridays after work, I feel like a zombie with a headache. I walk in the door, sit at the dining room table, and stare into space for a good thirty minutes, often more. I then struggle to make my way upstairs. After a relatively easy week, when the headache isn’t terrible, once in my … Read more
I evaluated my headache—a couple of pieces of candied ginger and some protein? Or more? The shower will probably help, and a decent chug of water. I close my eyes, listening to my body. Nope. I’m going to need more than that. Some Aleve. At least two. Hopefully that’ll keep it in check, to the … Read more
I posted on Facebook: “No headache today! Whoohoo!” It’s the second day since the semester began, a month and a half ago, that I was headache free. Yes, the day isn’t over yet, but from past experience I know that there’s a decent chance that I will be fine the rest of the day. As … Read more