Deb Brandon: Living in Radiant Color


ME: I do feel that over the years, we have become more comfortable with each other. Not so much on our guard.
BB: Really? I’m surprised to hear you say that. You do know that if I really feel like striking again, chances are that nothing is going to stop me, not even the blood pressure meds. They might slow me down, but not actually stop me.
ME: Tell me about it. I still don’t get why you feel the need to do that?
BB: What can I say? I just get bored sometimes, and occasionally, I can’t resist temptation. The angiomas are right there, begging for attention…
ME: Okay, fine, I get it. I can’t change you. Though you dorealize this means we can never be friends? I’ll always be on my guard.
BB: It’s in my nature. I can’t help it. If it means no friendship, so be it. At least we can respect each other. Actually, we can be friends. Friends fall out every so often.
ME: I’m not sure I could ever think of you slamming me with a brain bleed as a “falling out among friends.”
BB: Well yes. On the other hand, you are stuck with me—being antagonistic doesn’t really make sense. And there are times that our conversations are amiable, even helpful to both of us.
ME: True, but still, no one can expect me to act all cozy with someone who keeps threatening my health and possible my life.
BB: Fine. Be that way. Here I am trying to be honest with you as well as open minded…
ME: Well, you can afford to be “open minded,” if that’s what you want to call it. And I’m also being honest with you, about my feelings.
BB: Sometimes you can be too honest, you know. You kind of hurt my feelings.
ME: You poor baby. Sorry, no sympathy from me.
BB: You just wait.
ME: Let me clue you in—that’s part of the problem. No matter how I behave, if the mood strikes you, you’ll strike me. So what I say to you is essentially irrelevant—I can’t constantly keep you from getting bored. You’re going to do whatever you want. And guess what? Far too often,  I feel you looming in the background, threatening. You’re hurt? Well guess what? I get scared.
BB: Shall we talk about the weather? It was a lovely day yesterday, sunny, not too hot.
ME: Well today sucked, it’s been raining and miserable.
BB: You’re no fun to talk to today.